Dear lady in the Wal-Mart parking lot,

I'm sure there was a perfectly GOOD reason you nearly ran me over while I was trying to cross from the parking lot to the building WHILE IN THE CROSSWALK. I know in the trailer park they probably don't have such fancy things as crosswalks, or paved roads, or, you know, natural teeth. But was it really necessary to cuss at me? All I said was "DON'T stop in the crosswalk or anything." I most certainly did not utter the "F" word at you, so your response - "Don't say "F***" to me" was a bit perplexing to me. Kinda how a toothbrush or deodorant tend to confuse you and have you crying in the fetal postion for a day or two.

But I am willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you were having a bad day. Maybe one of your 6 kids had just announced you were going to be a grandmother at the ripe old age of 35( but hey, more welfare!!), or the clerk told you that you can't use food stamps to buy Skoal, or they were out of your brand of menthols.

But next time, don't drive on. Stop and let's have a conversation. I think I know a few multi-syllable words you just might be able to comprehend, as well as some awesome hand gestures.

Best,

The Queen of Snark